|
|
Worldwide Candle Lighting Video
|
|
They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.
Fourth stanza of 'For the Fallen' by Laurence Binyon (1869 - 1943)
|
|
|
|
Through Grief
There is no way round grief, only a way through
Grief cannot be hurried.
You need time to mourn and accept tragedy
Grief and bereavement come to us all.
You will find it impossible to accept.
You cannot believe it has happened to you.
You yearn for them.
Grief is the price of love and being loved.
And you must grieve - you need to release your feelings.
It is natural to cry and sob.
As natural as smiling an laughing.
Do not deny or hide your grief - accept it.
It is a healing process, a way of coming to terms with loss.
Let your tears and feelings come.
Do not bottle them up.
Crying is not self pity - it is a necessity - so cry when you need to.
Eventually you will come through that long, dark tunnel.
Derek Dobson 2005
|
Gentlemoments
Bereavement support
I have the permission too post this here on our site by Jenny a very special person and a person i can call a friend i hope you all find some comfort in these words .
Will the pain ever ease?
This piece was written with love, for those who follow on the path of grief.
It was originally inspired by the cry of those who could barely come to terms with the reality of joining the ‘awful’ club of the Compassionate Friends (www.tcf.org.uk) – which in fact is a beautiful club of compassion, understanding and friendship beyond that which people could imagine sharing with others. TCF is one of those surprise gifts that come from experiencing the worst. It is a question often asked, and an answer that grows with the journey of understanding.
I share it here because it has helped others.
.....
It is so hard to explain the grief of losing a child, or a sibling, to people who have never experienced it. It is heartbreaking to explain how we have survived years of it to those more recently bereaved who cannot imagine surviving the pain of today.
It seems incomprehensible to say that it is both better and worse than they could ever imagine. It's a roller coaster ride over which we have no control, and sometimes the best we can manage is to put one foot in front of the other, and remember to breathe. But, that's okay too.
I have lost two children now, my beautiful son George at 28 days old, with who I was blessed enough to know how precious every single second was from 20 July to 17 August 1982. Then in April 2003 my incredibly gorgeous, loving and funny 15 year old daughter Sheona was taken suddenly when she was hit by a car on her way home.
The most common question whispered by those newly in grief is ‘Will this pain ever ease?’ I know that's a cry for acknowledgement of the unbearable pain that feels as if it will break us, or at least never leave us again.
Although everyone grieves differently - for me the answer is both yes, and no - and some things help more than others.
Yes, there will come a time when it does not debilitate you - where it becomes a part of you like an old war wound that's always there, but you have learned to live with. Kind of like an emotional 'limp' from shrapnel that can never be removed from your heart.
And no, because some days, even years later, some things will trip you up and send you back to the basics of having to remember to breathe.
You can't prepare for these times they just happen and you wonder how you could have thought you were getting better. But these times do become fewer and somehow we learn to let them be and know that we will survive them.
It is so true that you have to ‘go through’ grief. You can’t go around it, no matter how much or for how long you may try.
But, you will have happy times again, your heart will again beat without every beat being a painful reminder that you are still here.
You may find peace in being able to help others through this minefield, as no one else around them can.
You may find friends who truly understand because they've been there too.
You may find that your life as you knew it is over - but a new one will begin.
In a near death experience I had during the birth of my son I learned (as well as learning that he would return to them without me), that there is nothing beyond this world but the most beautiful love, compassion, acceptance and understanding.
I came back knowing that our life here is full of opportunities to learn and show those qualities while facing incredibly difficult (or even boring day to day) situations.
I learned our life becomes fuller when we share these things with others - but we can choose and no choice is wrong - they only bring different experiences.
I could choose to spend the rest of my life angry and bitter, but it is far less painful if I fill my heart with love and compassion.
I can choose what the new life will hold - although the pain is a given because we loved so deeply - but everything else is by choice.
I can choose where or whether to direct my energies positively or negatively. I choose, when I can, positive.
I can choose to feel cheated or blessed for being chosen to share my children's lives even though they were shorter than I had hoped. I am blessed!
I can choose to believe (and this is easier for me because I've been there) that my loved ones are safe and happy and loved and able to send signs or not. I choose to accept the signs.
I can choose to accept that our lives still have purpose.
I can choose to acknowledge that the pain is a physical expression of our love. To me it would be far worse if it didn't hurt - for then there would have been no love.
'Had we never loved so kindly, had we never loved so blindly,
Never met, and never parted, we'd hae no been broken-hearted.'
from Robert Burns ‘Ae Fond Kiss’ (in English for you ; )
I wish you love in riding this roller coaster, and an offer of friendship to help you along your path. I can't take your pain away from you, but I can remind you to breathe when you need it.
Hugs Jenny
there is light at the end of the tunnel
Sometimes
Sometimes, when the sun goes down, It seems it will never rise again… but it will!
Sometimes, when you feel alone, It seems your heart will break in two… but it won’t.
And sometimes, it seems it’s hardly worthwhile carrying on…
But it is.
For sometimes, when the sun goes down,
It seems it will never rise again,
But it does
Frank Brown
------------------------------------
------------------------------------
Forget Me Not
Forget me not, for I am there
In the beat of your heart,
On the wing of your prayer.
Forgive me my parting and leaving you thus,
A joyous reunion is waiting for us!
Continue to strive toward your goal and be brave.
Know that my love didn't stop at the grave.
My spirit is with you through good times and bad.
I share all the joys and the sorrows you've had.
Feel my presence within your next breath
And realize there's no distance in death.
Ask for my help and I'll answer your call.
Reach for my hand when you stumble and fall.
Run the last mile with a smile on your face.
My arms will be waiting when you finish the race.
Always remember, my love is right there
In the beat of your heart,
On the wing of your prayer.
~ Linda Shelburn Reagan~
Some Helpfull contacts below
Brakecare
caring for people affected by road crashes
www.brake.org.uk
Help line:01484 421611
The Samaritans on 0845 790 9090
The Samaritans is an counseling line, open 24 hours a day for anyone in need . It is staffed by trained volunteers who will listen sympathetically. you can also contact them by e-mailing jo@samaritans.org
Cruse- Bereavement care
Bereavement line
0845 758 55 65
The Talkshop
is a multi national web site that offers support to bereaved Families and Friends
www.thetalkshop.org
Compassionate Friends
www.tcf.org.uk
An organisation offering support and Friendship to bereaved parent and their families
Would you like to set up a web site in honour of your loved one here are two links for you to use.
www.memory-of.com
http://www.muchloved.com/app/g_home.aspx
Age Concern England
Tel: 0800 00 99 66
Age Concern Scotland
Tel: 0845 833 0200
Age Concern Cymru
Tel: 029 2037 1566
Age Concern Northern Ireland
Tel: 028 9024 5729
Age Concern is national network of groups providing services for older people. Some Age Concern groups offer bereavement counselling. Look in the telephone directory to find your local group, or ring your national office listed above.
Citizens Advice Bureau
Look in your telephone book to find your nearest Citizens Advice Bureau.
The Compassionate Friends
53 North Street
Bristol BS3 1EN
Helpline: 0845 123 2304
The Compassionate Friends is a nationwide self-help organisation. Parents who have been bereaved themselves offer friendship and support to other bereaved parents, grandparents, and their families.
Community Legal Service Direct
Helpline: 0845 345 4 345 (Mon to Fri, 9am to 5pm)
The Community Legal Service can give you advice on benefits, debt and legal aid.
Cruse Bereavement Care
Cruse House
126 Sheen Road
Richmond TW9 1UR
Helpline: 0870 167 1677
Cruse Bereavement Care offers free information, advice and support to bereaved people. Cruse runs a helpline, and can supply a wide range of books, leaflets and a newsletter for bereaved people.
Note: If you are calling from Northern Ireland, contact the Northern Ireland Regional Office on 028 90 792419.
National Association of Widows
3rd floor, 48 Queens Road
Coventry CV1 3EH
Tel: 0845 838 2261
The National Association of Widows offers support and information to women who have lost a husband or partner. Contact Head Office for details of local branches and advisory centres.
Natural Death Centre
6 Blackstock Mews
Blackstock Rd
London N4 2BT
Tel: 0871 288 2098
The Natural Death Centre offers advice on arranging a funeral with or without using a funeral director.
Probate and Inheritance Tax Helpline
Tel:0845 30 20 900 (Mon to Fri: 9am to 5pm)
Probate and Matrimonial Office (Northern Ireland)
Tel: 028 9072 4678
Samaritans
Tel: 08457 909090
Samaritans are ordinary people from all walks of life who offer a sympathetic listening ear to despairing and suicidal people of all ages. Lines are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year; all calls are charged at the local rate.
Veterans Agency
Norcross
Blackpool FY5 3WP
Helpline: 0800 169 2277
Textphone: 0800 169 3458
The Veterans Agency can offer support and advice to war pensioners, war widows, their dependants and carers.
War Widows Association of Great Britain
c/o 48 Pall Mall
London SW1Y 5JY
Tel: 0870 2411 305
The War Widows Association gives advice, help and support to war widows and dependants.
Cruse Bereavement Care is the largest bereavement charity in the UK, with 150 local branches. It offers help to people bereaved by death, in any way, whatever their age, nationality or belief.
TCF is an organisation of bereaved parents and their families offering understanding, support and encouragement to others after the death of a child or children. TCF also offers support, advice and information to other relatives, friends and professionals who are helping the family.
An excellentresource for information on young people's bereavement services.
Aims to improve the care offered by professionals to grieving families in the immediate crisis and in the many months following the death of someone important in their lives.
Freephone telephone for all those affected by the death of a child.
The Trust has three main aims:- To raise funds for the research into the causes and, hopefully, the prevention of Cot Death. To improve and extend the support available to bereaved families. To educate the public and health care professionals about Cot Death.
A national self-help organisation. It has a network of over 200 groups and contacts. All people involved in the network are volunteers and their purpose is to befriend and support bereaved parents and their families, who have suffered a stillbirth or neonatal death.
Seeks to support those bereaved ofa partner while still young (together with their families). Coming from a Christian perspective, A Different Journey seeks to offer hope and support to those of all faiths and none. This is a section of the charity 'Care for the Family'.
Supports those parents who have lost a child (including adult children), together with any siblings. This is a section of the charity 'Care for the Family'.
Website with pages that have been collated to provide information and support online for bereaved parents whose baby has died during pregnancy, at birth or shortly afterwards.
A group for parents misfortunate enough to have suffered the loss of their baby through late miscarriage, late termination due to a problematic pregnancy, stillbirth, neonatal death or death of a baby in their first year.
A charity which offers help, support and counselling to families where there has been a sudden cardiac death of an apparently fit and healthy young person (Sudden Death Syndrome). Has expert medical information about heart conditions provided by doctors.
Offers a wealth of information to peopleexperiencing bereavement, planning for their future, or people who wouldsimply like to find out more about the bereavement process. Information covers topics such as funeral etiquette, cremation, what to do when someone dies, grief, and 8 other titles. The sitealso has a Dignity Funeral Director finder and a range of information onarranging a funeral, funeral planning and memorials etc.
Help for People Bereaved Through Epilepsy
An organisation offering support, information, advice, and advocacy to those families who have lost a loved one as a result of murder.
A Family Bereavement Counselling Centre offering support to:
- anyone affected by the death of a child at any age and from any cause.
- any school age child/young person affected by the death of a parent/carer, grandparent, sibling or other significant adult.
Represents bereaved parents who have lost youngsters in road accidents. Lobbies for common-sense measures to make learning to drive a safer process and save other families from losing a beloved son or daughter.
Information about grief and bereavement, lists of services for bereaved people in London and the UK, links to Internet resources worldwide on the subject of bereavement and related issues plus special resources on the themes of race and culture and attachment.
Offer Freephone Helplines every evening of the year between 6 pm and 10 pm to give 'A sympathetic Listening Ear' to those suffering the pain of a bereavement.
A voluntary organisation committed to the prevention of young suicide and the promotion of mental health and well-being. Aims include: to promote public awareness of the risk of mental or emotional distress during adolescence and young adulthood, and to help to remove the stigma of such occurrences; to provide useful information for the parents of suicidal young people; and where a suicide has already occurred, to encourage the provision of appropriate support, either voluntary or professional, for those closely and traumatically affected.
Provides practical and emotional help to those newly bereaved and injured as a result of a road crash.
A registered Charity dedicated to the care of the terminally ill, companionship of the dying, and support and counsel for the bereaved. They work towards the best possible mental, emotional and spiritual back-up and care for everyone involved when death and dying are near.
Information for the family and relatives of a young person who has died of Sudden Arrhythmic Death Syndrome - SADS sometimes called sudden adult death syndrome
Understanding and support to families and friends, who have been bereaved as a result of murder and manslaughter. See also SAMM South East (The Gatwick Group)
An organisation to help relatives and close friends of people who die suddenly.
Provides a self-help social and support network for men and women widowed under the age of 50, and their children.
Helps bereaved children and young people rebuild their lives after a family death. We offer practical support and guidance to families, to professionals and to anyone concerned about a grieving child..
Web site to create awareness of funerals and how the industry works, general advice, help contacts, directory of funeral directors and monumental masons.
Heads Away Just Say
Advice and help for Young People and Teenagers considering Suicide due to bereavement, alcohol and drug abuse, relationships or sexually related problems.
Please find below a list of links I would like to share with you these links are of a spiritual nature..
http://www.hayhouseradio.com/
This is a link to a mind body and spirit radio station
http://www.mediumysticss.com/ this is a spiritual site it is a free site
http://www.whisperingsouls.ca/ WhisperingSouls Psychic Chat and Discussion Site ,Also a Free site
Please if you have any suggestions for contacts or links please join our forum and let us know if you have found they have helped you then maybe they will help some one else please share. Please remember this forum is for bereaved people thank you.
Kind Regards
Admin 
We hope you will be able to find some help and support from other members here when you most need it.
This site has been set up by people who have lost a loved one or loved ones, we are not councillors or members of the medical profession , we are just normal everyday people who are struggling with our own grief and feel that there is a need for places like this to come and talk with people who are going through the same emotions and need to talk a place to escape too, talk about our loved ones, share your day, how you feel , just being able to talk freely and not worry . There are some topics and modules set up to try to help take your mind of things with some of the topics and the free games if you so wish. The main thing is to know there are people out there that do understand and will listen and offer support . Please dont think you are on your own , we know it feels like that most of the time but if you take the first step and join our Forum you will see that there are others like you, maybe over time you will make new friends. Maybe you will be able to help the next person who joins and in turn they maybe able to help you .
We have many topics that we hope will be of some use and we are very open to your suggestions. This site is for you to find help & give help if you so wish we all walk the same road. Please remember we dont judge each other, just be there to offer support when we all need it
All the members here are caring loving people who shouldnt find them selfs here
but all will be there to offer support and help if they can.
You will never be alone when you have gentlemoments
Care
Love
&
Understanding
To all Guests.
You must register to become a member to be able to use this Forum
Thank you
From all at Gentlemoments
|
|
|
© 2009 gentlemoments All Rights Reserved.
|
Our Gallery
